Dear Diary,

Today I was eating lunch with fellow mPress journalists Alysha Landis, Chase Snyder, and Trisha Handrich. Chase was excited because the convention food servers finally had something healthy (fruit!) and he gobbled up his banana quickly. He then proceeded to flop around his banana peel in a bizarre fashion, slapping it against things. Finally, he threw it down (much like a 2 year old would throw something on the floor, hoping someone would pick it up so they could just do it again). At his last throw down, Alysha quickly snatched the banana peel and began flopping it against things too, only she proceeded to knock over her cup of red juice, rapidly dying the white table cloth an unfashionable pinkish-red color. At this, she proceeded to laugh hysterically, only she had orange slices in her mouth, so she ended up spraying human-made orange juice all over herself and the table.

To sum up the event, I decided that the mPress reporters aren’t as mature as they come off to be in the newspap

Rachel Halder, Parnell, Iowa

Dear Diary,

As I was sitting in a seminar, waiting for it to begin, I overheard a guy next to me having a conversation with someone about how he doesn’t have a Facebook. To demonstrate how unnecessary it is, he said something along the lines of, “I don’t have a Facebook to ‘tickle’ my friends. If I really want to tickle them, I’ll go over to his house and do it myself!”

Alysha Landis, Harleysville, Pa.

Dear Diary,

“Howdy, buddy,” I muttered, smiling at a young kid in a Penn State shirt as we both collected our order at a convention cafe.

“Cool, what’s up?” he boldly remarked.

I countered back “What a thrilling convention ‘kick off’!”

“Yes!” he said while trying to locate his ID badge since he was not wearing it around his neck. Finally I noticed his convention badge was hanging down his thigh (don’t ask me why, because I cannot explain how are youth have been wired for living, dressing and connecting these days).

Instead of a predictably adult reaction, I quickly came out with a phrase this young man would readily connect with, pointing to his badge hanging down his thigh, I said, “That’s cool.”

His face lit up like a 60-watt bulb suddenly switched on. With a broad, angelic smile that brought two charming dimples to both his rosy cheeks, he said, “Finally someone got the message!”

He drew near and, with one hand holding tightly to his coffee cup, hugged me, then sprinted away. I stood there contemplatively with my tea in my hands and wondering, thinking, “What a message!” This is one of my several connections in Columbus during the Mennonite Church USA Convention.

Pastor Femi Fatunmbi, Royal Dominion Family Chapel, Los Angeles

Dear Diary:

I witnessed Tyler Falk, a reporter for mPress, insert $2 into a Gatorade machine which happened to be out of every flavor it advertised. He pounded each button numerous times and then collapsed into a heap on the floor, punching the side of the machine in despair.

Laura Schlabach, Goshen, Ind.

Dear Diary:

I walked up to the registration table for the Continuing Professional Education convention located next to the Mennonite Church registration tables and asked a helpful woman a few questions about their convention.

Hoping to build bridges and engage in dialogue, I then asked the woman if she knew what a Mennonite was. I was planning on talking with her about the many Mennonites who were coming to convention this week when her colleague quickly responded, “from what I understand, Mennonites are a less vigorous form of the Amish. They drive cars and have what the Amish would consider luxuries.”

Annalisa Harder, Bluffton, Ohio

Dear Diary,

As I stood singing in the lobby of convention today with Bellaccord, EMU’s male a cappella group, a small 2-year-old got up out of her stroller and grooved along to the music we made.

Braydon P. Hoover, Lancaster, Pa.
Observations for this column may be e-mailed to mennopress@gmail.com or submitted to the newsroom (D-144). Please include your name and hometown.